A jump to remember

 When I felt the belt tightening, I knew this would be an experience I would live to remember. The palpitating beat of my heart and the perspiration on my back confirmed my inevitable fear.  In the perfect world movie directors continue to sell to us, bungee jumping looks like an easily done daily activity. Truth is, bungee jumping is a bit easier said than done.
Toppieshoek is a Tshwane University of Technology (TUT) Owned leadership development center and is situated in the North West province near the Hartebeespoort dam, about an hours’ drive from Pretoria. The place is breath-taking and so was the experience, almost literally. It is just unfortunate that this is the place I learned of my fear of heights.
It was on a beautiful Thursday morning when I accompanied junior students for a leadership trip. There were various activities that we all participated in. Well, I believe one is never too old for a bit of fun, and the experience brought out the child in me. Believe me, there is a child in every one of us. Bungee jumping was the last activity of the day, I was very excited, I have always seen people Jump, and I thought to myself, “here I am and the opportunity has presented itself, there is no way I am letting it pass.”
The level of excitement was no longer the same when one of the students cried and called out for her mummy, but hey, I have always wanted to do this, I told myself I was brave and nothing was going to stop me.
My partner and I moved closer and the time to climb up had finally arrived. The facilitators helped us tighten the belts, I had a chance to back down and not do it, but I did not. My partner climbed the pole first, she looked down and realized I was having second thoughts and she cheerfully said, “Come Leila it is going to be fun, you should come and see the view of the dam from up here.” There I was, climbing the stairs up, on the third stair of the pole I could feel my adrenalin pump increasing, I should have listened to the facilitators when they told me not to look down. Nevertheless I looked down and my eyes instantly turned red and there I was calling for mummy as well.
My mouth turned dry, my hands were shaking but I had to hold on tight or else I would fall, this was when I realized that heights were not my thing. But I refused to let my fear take over and not allow me to do something that I have dreamed of doing from the very first day I saw someone bungee jumping. I held on tight to the pole, closed my eyes for a while, I moved up and finally I was up there.
It was amazing, the view was extra ordinary, I was so excited to be up there for a moment I forgot that the main business of the day was still to come, the jumping part. I just allowed myself to enjoy the moment, I was no longer scared, and it felt so good just having accomplished the first part of the activity. I just could not get enough of the view from up there; I wanted to sit there and never jump down.
Unfortunately my excitement was cut short when the facilitator reminded me I had to walk on the robes up there and I had to jump. At that moment, I wished bungee jumping should have remained a dream and nothing more. Fear got the better of me again, I felt like crying, but I contained myself; all I did was scream “I am scared” over and over again. As they kept saying I could do it, I felt more annoyed than motivated to continue. They were trying to encourage me, but at that moment all I wanted was to see myself on the ground. Nothing they said mattered, jumping just had to be out of the list.
I closed my eyes, had a short dialogue with myself, and I decided that “you know what? I am jumping,” I had fun, I enjoyed the view but it was time to jump. I closed my eyes again and I literally took a leap of faith. The last I remember, I was jumping, when I woke up there were people around me. As embarrassed as I was, I stood up, held my head high, and asked what had happened. Well, I had passed out and hit my head on the ground, I was bleeding but I was happy. The accident did not matter much, I was happy that I had just had an experience of a life time. One I would never forget.
I have never gone back, so I am not sure if I am still scared but if I had an opportunity to do it again, I would not even think twice. I would proudly do it, and the rest would sort itself out. If I were to advice someone who has never went bungee jumping, I would definitely recommend it. In all the experiences that we have, there is always a good story that comes out of it, if not a funny embarrassing one.